Online Dating Advice

by Jay Reiss, M.S.W.
Online Dating Coach

What’s a Good Place to Meet Older Women?

Please Note:
Unlike other articles which may contain useful information,
I will actually HELP YOU meet older women
with my professional online dating coaching services.
See below for details or contact me here.

“Younger man looking for a place to meet older women” – is this a cliché or a sign of our times?

It’s a relatively new phenomenon, but now it seems all the rage for a younger man to meet older women online.

It’s at least equally true the other way around as well – and what I’m observing on some of the major dating sites is that many older women are now ONLY searching for younger men.

One woman explained it to me like this. In her view, men her own age (she’s in her 50′s) refuse to date her, so she’s forced to date younger men if she wants to have any relationship at all.

Another woman was more candid about her choice when she told me that when younger men meet older women, the benefit for the woman is that the man can get more erections – and – as an older woman, she gets satisfied more often by a younger guy.

One therapist I spoke with was less inclined to view men who want to meet older women as “sex toys” but instead feels that many older women are going through a mid-life crisis, and wanting to raise their self-esteem in the arms of a younger man.

Regardless of the psychodynamics of the younger man/older woman liaison, if you’re looking for a place to actually meet older women (or younger men) then look no further than the dating site Plenty of Fish. Here you’ll find thousands of opportunities to meet older women – or – if not that, then at least you’ll enjoy this site as a place to meet women in general.

Plenty of Fish is one of the largest free online dating sites in the world, but it’s a site with few if any rules, and the men and women who post dating profiles there seem less inclined to be honest about their age (my experience only) than they might be on other, mainstream, paid dating sites.

Many Plenty of Fish members even confess to this in their “About Me” essays. The rationalization is that by inserting a younger age, more prospective matches will find them during a search.

The practice of looking for younger men has evidently gained in popularity among women, and in searches I’ve conducted myself on Plenty of Fish, I’ve discovered that a high percentage of the women there are looking for men who are up to 25 years younger. If you’re a man looking to meet older women, and especially if you’re in your 20′s or 30′s, you’ll find yourself in the sweet spot as a target for women over 40 on that site – and especially for women over 50.

Some dating sites like match.com offer a “reverse search” in which you can actually see who’s searching for someone your age. You’ll be surprised to learn that the “older women seeking younger men” craze is rapidly gaining momentum on match.com and on many other sites too.

Why do Younger Men want to Meet Older Women?

We’ve talked about the benefits to the women who search for younger guys, but what’s in it for the men?

An Older Woman is more Established -
and Doesn’t Need a Guy’s Money

For a handsome younger guy who hasn’t fully developed his career yet, meeting older women takes the pressure off to wine and dine a woman, or spend money on expensive vacations. The women may offer to pay instead.

She’s more Independent and will give the Guy Space

One of the appeals in wanting to meet older women is that they may not be as needy as younger women may be. This can be especially appealing to a guy who’s not wanting a full-time relationship and to guys who have other interests outside of “their relationship.”

Meeting an Older Woman can Help a Younger Guy
Learn about Life as she Mentors Him

What better way for a younger guy to develop a taste for art, culture, music, and society in general than to be introduced to all of it by a more mature, experienced girlfriend? Women have taken advantage of the mentoring of men for centuries. Why not the other way around?

Older Women can be Fun and
More Experienced in a Variety of Settings

With age and experience comes a feeling of freedom and the willingness to have fun in circumstances where younger women may still be cautious and tentative. Self-confidence comes with age, and a younger man may learn to emulate this from his girlfriend.

She may be Sexier than a Younger Woman -
and Can Teach a Younger Guy a Few Things Too

This is the classic appeal of the older woman and one of the most common reasons that guys want to meet older women in general. They can be great instructors in bed.

An Older Woman may be Less Demanding

Not searching for the father of her future children, an older woman may be less demanding, and less critical of a younger man. She’ll tend to cut him more slack, and she may not apply her entire laundry list before inviting him into her bed.

She may be More Appreciative of a Man’s Attention

It’s flattering for an older woman to feel the attraction of a younger man. His amorous advances may in fact be more welcome than those of men her own age. His innocence and naiveté may even come across as endearing.

More Loyal, Less Self Centered

An older woman may be more loyal than her younger counterpart and this may especially appeal to a younger man who’s suffered the pain of infidelity in the past – or witnessed it in a close friend or even within his own family.

An Older Woman is Often More Mature

Another one of the primary reasons for wanting to meet an older woman is her maturity. She’s less likely to throw a fit, or become a “high maintenance” type of girlfriend. In some cases, she’s worked all of this stuff out years ago with her therapist.

The Mother/Son Dynamic might Appeal to Both

It isn’t a great leap to wonder if an older woman/younger man relationship may, in some ways, resemble that of a mother and son. And for some couples, this dynamic may indeed apply. Perhaps for a woman who never had a son – or is missing one from her life – such a relationship may be attractive on some level (conscious or otherwise). And the same can be said for the guy. Maybe his relationship with his true mother was disappointing, and through a romantic relationship with an older woman, he can symbolically make up for it.

She may be Less Materialistic too

Pleasing a woman his own age might cost more, and the maintenance of such a relationship may be especially expensive. But an older woman may have arrived at a point in her life where she realizes that money is highly overrated and truly not what it’s cracked up to be; simple pleasures may appeal to her more – including those found between the sheets.

An Older Woman may also be Less Manipulative

Ask any guy in his 20′s or 30′s if he’s known women who play mind games, and he’ll ask you how much time you have to listen to his stories. The younger a woman is, the more likely she may still be caught up in driving men crazy. Meeting an older woman can be a breath of fresh air for a younger guy.

Tasting the Forbidden Fruits

For many people, indulging in an older woman/younger man relationship becomes exciting just because it’s shocking to so many others. The excitement of being part of anything that society hasn’t fully accepted can make the experience exciting in and of itself.

Want to Meet Older Women?
Talk to a Dating Coach and Get Help

If you’re reading this article because YOU want to meet older women, then you’ve come to the right place. Call today and I’ll help you find several to choose from. And likewise if you’re “the older woman” wanting to meet a younger man.

Website Content © 2010 Jay Reiss, M.S.W.